When Old Echoes Surface: Emotional Neglect, Triggers, and Psychological Flexibility

Last week, the public commentary surrounding Hayden Panettiere’s family dynamics and emotional neglect cut through the noise of daily life.

A comment online summarized a reality that hits far too close to home for many survivors:

”I know that this has been a very triggering week for those of you who were raised by a narcissistic parent — in particular a narcissistic mother.”

For individuals who grew up with emotional neglect or conditional warmth, public stories like these aren’t just media entertainment. They can be somatic triggers that echo back to childhood spaces where support was absent.

As both a survivor and a practitioner working with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I’ve learned that resilience isn’t about ”never” getting triggered. It’s about how we respond when we are.

In ACT, we focus on making room for difficult internal experiences rather than expending energy trying to push them away or control them. When an old emotional wave surfaces, I visualize it like a restless memory attempting to take center stage once more.

Instead of fighting the feeling, I let it exist. I observe it, acknowledge its past purpose, and let it run its course without allowing it to dictate my present reality. Old patterns lose their power over us the moment we stop fighting them.

If current events or personal triggers have brought up heavy feelings for you recently, remember:

Validate your response:

It is completely natural for old wounds to ache when hit by fresh reminders.

Practice radical self-compassion:Give yourself permission to pause, feel, and step back.

Observe without absorbing: Let the emotional wave pass through without taking it on as your identity today.

We don’t need to win a war against our past; we just need to learn how to walk forward in harmony with our history. 🤍